Ways of reading

2 Apr

I feel boring in consistency. A stream of boringness. May I boring people with my personality? I could, I can, I would, I will. And that’s why (?) asking myself I haven’t sort of attractivness relationships with my current enviroinment so far?

The one thing that making me attractive is my keyboard’s glocks while my typing sitting in the corner of table at the science library trying to concentrate my attention as well curiosity on ‘ways of reading’. It is a book, such a good book. Deal b%k.

A cloud crying on me relatively, crying on my display of laptop computer on the same table than me. Why Am I writing here? This is the last chance to forget about boring for a while. My own ‘Moby Dick’  – a whale, a breath on my knees. Kidding? Nope! Kids, I’m not kidding at all because of boring at heart to walk to university and back in order to be modest young silence man at each lectures in the line of ‘boooooorin’ morning lectures. For V, just for V. That’s why I’m there each morning.

It’s so sick to feel such a boring feelingness. In general, the thing all about my bored personality that isnt’ about ‘spring season’ or stress that ‘winter goes by’. No, the matter is time, is mine personality, my loyalty of my casual breaths ‘day-by-day’ days to university and back. Yesterday and before I was lying on the matrass and seeing ceiling directly. That’s all my day before lectures.

I feel a guilty when I’m eating/drinking something not matter what it is. It’s a crime for my mind that must punish me after each lunch that I had or will have. When I’m eating I imagine that is punishment against my personification, againt my words, confessions and intentions to be modest, honest and familiar with my enviroinment. My boringness is all about these things everyday from morning till night. Every morning, every lunch hours, and every evenings and nights I’m feeling it unstoppedly, ambitiously and seriously. Bored, so bored that have no Idea what to do in order to live for the future. Sick. I would have to start drink. Eating and drinking are only thing that entertain me in a second.

I made decision to kill these bored feelings everyday, in every live hours, even in every second of my current live situation to start drink. Where I’m seeing in front of mirror. Mirror of actions that passed go away and my mind is blowing by figuring out passed doing nothing days where I was lying on the mattras to trying to see my inner face in front of ceiling. It’s boring.

So sick, so sick at heart for the last ten days. And just writing my last chance to kill my bored personality into another one attracrive young man that will feeling good just by seeing and breathing, taking a walk, talking with anybody and watching TV shows and movies. Loving parents in more passion ways and hoping that much more sun days will come in nearest future, for tomorrow.


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