I have to make a voluntary confession because the future is long.

28 Apr

This, I suppose, is the actual problem: I feel my existence is an imposition on the planet. . . . Normally, I just sit in my quiet little room and do the small things that bring me pleasures. I read my books, I answer email, I write a little bit. Writing is the only thing that have chance to kill this ‘boringness’ I don’t know by what, I guess all this about ‘existence’ at whole.

True Confession

True Confession (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t want to be in this world. I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to be me. I want to live an ethical life, but I’m neutral about how I should do that. I’m constantly trying to figure out how to be more effective and what I should be working on it. I want to have ‘this’ willingness to change my mind completely. If you can do anything you want, then every day becomes an existential problem—an empty space of possibility that has no ceiling but also no walls and no floor. All of these things are bad, but we can work on making something better.

To think continuously about changing the world is to spend your life looking at what is bad in it. To be attached to the world is to be attached to the world as it is, and not for any reason, because reasons can always be countered. To consider the world from first principles, to think about how well it would work if everything were different, is to be ready to throw away everything you know. Radical idealism and a sense of limitless possibility are the brighter facets of absolute rejection. We can fight back.

I guess I’m happy if I have sush a sort of feelings and thoughts. Definitely and obviously, I’m happy man that couldn’t yet understand it at heart, but as I’m saying all the time the words of Steve Jobs at D8 Conference, ‘We’ll see, the future is long’.


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