It seems to me that…

9 May

if I have desire truly to write down my feelings I think that I’m getting to loose my weight to say something new and interesting for other ears. It’s painful exquisitely annoying ‘phase’ of ‘How to stop fear to say the thing at it is, without any fictional addings and stolen sentences or even ‘lie storytelling’. So I started to analize the sequences of raised thougts before to write on my blog ‘my inner world, and about my person how it is, what kind of pitcure you’ll see about me when I’m naked, figuratively to saying, of course :P.

I don’t know but before to start I’m thinking that post have to be ‘long’ in order to prove that my English is fluent. Sorry, but this is bullshit. The second it that I have to ‘not to use’ ordinary words at all, and this is the second bullshit. I’m ordinary person and according to my days I cannot describe the ordinary situations with the help of ‘high literature’. I’m not professional writer, at all events. May be this isn’t the reason to say such things like this, but I’m saying how it is in life. And the third it that I have to publish two posts per day, and it really doesn’t matter the quality of my thoughts all stuff that will be said on each post. In early days this model worked very well, and time goes by and my ‘be ready to write in anytime’ was gone too. So the fast that I skipped a few days till now are started to press me psychologically that I failed with my plan. It’s hard and ‘waste of time’ pressure yourself by yourself. Waste of time and waste of personality by that kind of feelings.

So I wrote two ordinary passages, and good thing is that you see my current level, and again, it doesn’t matter for now to be fluent for me, I’m just saying that I have to say. I’m reading all the time in the English language, but my level is staying at the current level so far and I cannot do nothing about that. I would just encoureged to myself to continue my reading not in the internet but real paper books. It’s good strategy and it works.


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