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A new day, a new chance to make something substantial

5 Jun

In the last two days I’d been writing about motivational stuff concerning me and my current works. And you know what? I logged off from social networks again yesterday. Not so big deal, but I even couldn’t catch up what I did that in shortest period of time even didn’t thinking about it. Automatically, I just sent a message to one of my internet folks ‘The last three on the island’. Actually, it was my last session at least in this week and may be more. I do not want to say exactly that I logged off from the universe and don’t want come back anymore, but anyway that was I need to take step action in the last three days.

As you know I created an account on Medium. These guys turn on a possibility to write our own stuff in view of posts finally. And I posted one stuff so far. Here’s the link. In this month I will do my best to keep learn my languages and to promulgate (as a usual) about my days and thoughts, what I’m doing, why I’m doing this etc. etc. and trying to learn exams’ ticket before the exams itself even in four or five days earlier than event coming evening. If you’re understood what I wanted to jabber. Okay, and I ended up with conclusion that my ‘annoying’ voice that why I cannot do that question wasn’t coincidentally. I think that I give up my ‘hard-earn’ minutes and my current hours are so easy to live on. Actually. I cancelled all my programming and language courses by the reason of final tests and exams at the university.

Image representing Blogger as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

Okay, a little bit about posted notes on Blogger and why I was so touchable and naive in my thinking? The answer to this question is: I was totally drunk. Yeah, and as you know again: Talk is cheap, silence is expensive. But I had to post them even on my blogs. So and so. I started to follow each re-blogged my following users reblogs on Tumblr. Again, I do not know why, but I think it’s all about marketing techniques by feedbacks and likes when users with ‘low high’ followers will come back to check your account and if so to follow you and start to reat what are you sharing and posting. Let’s be honest, why we are doing it actually? Of course not only to look at nice looking photograped by professional models, of course not&

So today I’ve plans to figure out why my cartridge printing on A4 with not equal lines of black-and-white. I’m getting to be nervous by seeing at them after printed papers of my pdf’s books on computer. Yeah, it’s very and very annoying to see ‘shit’ looking learn stuff.


Another good one day

28 Apr

Move to Trash at once? I’m feeling would be better delete this post for now unconventionally. Uncertainty, endeavour (Thanks God, I re-locare ‘try’ to other syn.) to make changes in particular days in which is to enable fixate . I’m flabbergasted, its gaiety, moment to gain a hastiness to make those differences, to be indifferent to the outside world, exhale-inxhale, just breathe, to ask the life an indiscreet questions, in  indoor things are more fun. And Everybody knows it.

To be owner of a keen intellect, a keen glance, a keen interest, be keen on to saying about ‘keen’ everywhere, what the hell are talking about man? It’s all about keen, our wolrd is all about to say the word ‘keen’ everywhere. It is just what I said just in time and it’s just splendid. Just + keen = brilliant combination, I made my day just by this ‘keen’.

 – Are you invented your own world, aren’t you?

– No, that wasn’t just me, God helped me, he did a personal kindness.

Lack of balance.

음악피아노 – ㅡmusicpiano

28 Apr

I’m sitting in front of ‘spring came here’ window, in front of my laptop, in front of other buildings, in front of myself, in front of my bizarre feelings. For those 7 days I was training my learning languages diligently and carefully, day by day, and where are the substansial results? My body burning me out, I’m stinking out. Might be I’m exaggerating here that I have lots of soul and body illnesses, not likely, more scare thing is that I’m loosing my concentrating on important aspects of my life. What did happened today? 따라하세요? Wie ergeht es dir? Is that all? So sick! My morning’s two simplest examples do asking someone about his/her life just to draw an image that I’m interested in. So why? So what? What for?

For instance, yesterday I skipped my meditation 30-minutes session, and deep-learning of MySql, and lots of time I was reading Chinese books had written in English language, lots of words in Korean, and lots of examples with translating in the Deutsch, and where the results? (And I know clearly all that aren’t enough at all, at all). Do you mean instant, fastests, quickest ‘have done’ properly and with obviosly knowledge to use them in practice, in life? So sick! That’s sick! I was playing guitar, and even had record a video and uploaded to my youtube channel, I would say that is ‘good start, keep it up, never settle down, and what?’ That’s all. The results are making me boring, because I don’t like ‘my have done’, at some point I hate those silly, stupid, moron results, and I would add, ‘add more hours, more training minutes, more productivity, more passion, more simplisity, and let it down for a moment, and again over again, on and on, that? Indeed?

What difference does it make what I learn four languages simultaneously? It’s big challenge, and I know, to start to learn anything is the simplest action we’ve ever always been know, the point is to finish, it’s marathon, and the point is to be fluent in every aspect, puncuation therefore writing, sounds patterns therefore talking, meanings of the words therefore reading, and you know what? When you’re stinking out to learning by heart such a casual words like, ‘delicious’, ‘house’, ‘time’, to have, to go and so on and so forth, it really hurts, because other 60 million and even billion of people know that better than you, it’s clear and again the point is to make such a hard learning hours are to say something for all of them by ‘fluent’ language. That’s my point of view. I’m getting to loose as I think my ability to write in English language, I’m thinking that if I start to learn other language, in the first time all my concentrating will be in basic aspects and that’s why I have chance to stop increase my education on the English, because almost  all the time my attention will paid to ‘just for converstation aspects’ of learning language, for instance, Korean: 법학  – law; 음악 – music, and does make any sense to add more words to my current English? No! Even don’t think about it at all. I’m loosing or had stopped my English language. So how about Chinese? Der Apfel – > I need a hours of hours to remember the word Der Apfel in Chinese language.

There are lots of aspects for ‘arrays’ in PHP,  a bunch of them, and you need to remember all of them to manipulate in future projects and be real professional. You can just install ‘framework’, or ‘CMS’ but you won’t know all deep courners and it means just be ‘user’, not ‘maker’. In order to be ‘maker’ you have to invest all of your time, without any holidays, any days for resting, you ‘have to’ in work all the time, because of ‘life’ is your best work, and you’re doing your best work you’ve ever did and will. That’s make sense, and you’re thinking all the time about what to do in the next day, and 18 hours is good enough to stay in tune in be productive. I started to read books that I’ve ever hadn’t been reading at all, I’m becoming really organized, and productive, all these hard sessions is getting to be my own established schools and universities for me for now, and I feel happines in front of sickness. It’s sick trying don’t break the chain, items that marked on the table had hanged in the wall. But my current English is so bad.

And Aaron is really helping me stay in this level of learning process, and he said the next brilliant words in the perspective:

“do think of seem to have something else in common. They don’t just love thinking, they love language. They love its tricks and intricacies, its games, the way it gets written down, the books it gets written into, the libraries those books are in, and the typography those books use.” Here.

His work and life are my inspiration to keep all these stuff on, and may be once upon a time to look myself in front of mirror, and I’ll say to myself: ‘Good, danke der Mann for 괜찮다~!’

We’re drinking the water

23 Apr
Lolita / Vladimir Nabokov

Lolita / Vladimir Nabokov (Photo credit: lalagonca)

It’s been almost 9 minutes for uploading the next video with lots of links and addresses for discovering in InTrends – 9 – be in trends 🙂 I woke up at 06:13P.M. and my mood is good. Indeed I’d been sleeping umcomfortably, I had from time to time been sharply awakening by harsh feelings that there are some things left behind by me and there was a constant fear that I’m waste my time and resources to lying on the bed and sleeping.

Yesterday I lived (let’s be honest to say there what has been) a kind of colossal day. I read a lot, talked a lot, a lot of solved problems (programming stuffs), and there was no fear of to start, and cool TABLE helped me in this, today I see that in my table begin to flash red crosses on each item and its special feelings to look at it, very nice as an evening watching the sunset standing on an old wooden bridge with her and telling her  words: “Tell me, until tomorrow, forever, to the grave, do you remember over there flying  a swallow?” (Nabokov poems, if anyone remembers)

Today the same thing. Yesterday afternoon I was listening the song The Times They’re Changing a half of the day, and a few things that I have to change in fundamental ways. The first is to move to a real “metropolis”. Why? More features? Nope, but then what? To take a photos, phothos and to promulgate the film where a city with an endless stream of people. Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, a very long time. Meet different people and each person has a separate story on this earth as it is in one millisecond taken photo.

For further reading:

Stinking to thinking

7 Apr

All the time. Almost all the time. The English is so good for confessions’ stuff. Because of my parents don’t understand yet The Sounds of English language. Again, all the time there was shadow of ideas and actions left behind in front of enviroinment’s eyes. Eyes to listen and ears to see. The mornings has a ‘privichka’ to be repeated from one morning to other at some point. Love is all, I declare today. All is love? I like don’t think so.

April 2006, Le National, Montréal

April 2006, Le National, Montréal (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I promulgated here a few new videos. And I need discussing for raised topics and feel free to send me any questions for continueing. My e-mail: It’s hard to find soulmate in my town, the soulmate that will be couraged by languages, and the ideas came from sociology and journalism. I couldn’t find bloggers and if even I found these bloggers was so popular and haven’t free time to invest ‘priceless’ time to ‘amateurs’ like me. But I’m keeping looking forward and for so far with the hope that one day, once upon a time I will find that clud, community or man in the same position like mine. To hold on, to be in position and with the answes to eternal questions about journalism. Is open journalism really our future?

William Blake, I’m not so strange

6 Apr
English: Cloud in nepali sky

English: Cloud in nepali sky (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The morning of the days. Me and my laptop. Behind the words, behind the walls. Good music at some point. No verbs, no birds and no desires. I’m becoming guru to be in plastic silence. I invented the structure to stay in silence as long as possible I wanted to be stayed. Believe me, it really works at some point. I’m drinking cold coffee and it is under ‘seruy’ skies. The clouds are electrical, but where natural clouds? All the internet is clouds, fake electrical clouds.

I tried to count my private vocabulary and failed to counting. As small as my countryside/village near the past. Tense? Colors? Where the beginning? Where the end? Where colourful imagination? Where the strong and ‘a la petite’ passages with the minimum nouns but with the maximum ‘zZz clouds’? Where? Just gloomy sundays. And links:

  5. Thanks for your attentions to pasted links. Links like it when you click on them.

How to marry a Princess? Here is the self manual for ‘dummies‘. I read for instance this: ‘Don’t say sorry, That’s what princess mainly don’t like’. I would say that’s sounds cute, I mean ‘don’t say sorry’. From my point of life experience that’s the point not to say in every second, like a ‘I’m so sorry, so so sorry, very and very sorry’. Sounds really pity and million of shames to you, upon you, if you are acting exactly like this. Sorry, but that’s true because I was acting like this, even had been acting with ‘princesses’ like this, and I was wrong, I was ‘nice’, not ‘rude’ in the sense of real strong men.

Okay ‘let it be’. On another big question of the day. Yesterday I was totally drunk and sent a lot of ‘nice’ messages. Short story in long, ‘I was acting like princess’, shame on me buddy, silly buddy at that time not now ‘of course’. It would had been seen more better If I had had watch dumbed-down news, or making silly marketing desicions instead of asking ‘princesses’: ” – If you want it I’ll go away forever and for centuries, just say it, and I’ll do it!” WHAT THE *UCK? MAN??? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT’S THE DIFFERENSE AS I SAY, ARE YOU DUMB YOUNG MAN??? SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP FOR NOW AND STOP TO DRINK IF YOU CANNOT SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP WITH.

That’s all was in the morning, when I woke up seeing myself in the mirror with the face of total idiot. What I did ?? What? I even wrote my ‘intrusion’ messages to my ex-girl that If I’m not mistaken connecting the dots has a husband, and I was messaging for example: ” – You are the best that was in my life” WHAT??? The best? *hit! She was really nice with me, no question, and she was the person that with her.. we had been talk about poetry and literature at heart. We had always been walking, rambling and talked about ‘words for the sake of words. That was nice and really helpful to be in ‘creative flow and away from madness’. Thanks for that, she, and only she helped me (at some point) to start read Henry Miller and others writers with ‘great and more broader intellectuality than the writers I had had read.’ That’s true, but the notes with ‘You was the better ever had happend in my life’ of course sounds like, looks like the situation, where ‘I’m 80 years old man that talking about ex-wifes with the *oron journalist that recording my voice for memories to the local low price ads newspaper and stuff like that sitting near by 80 years old bed on the red carpet.’ I’m young to talking in this manner, very young and very smart 😛

That was yesterday. And plus I received two with ‘a lot of modest feelings’ letters. I had singed up in social networking. Silly action I know. In the other hand I couldn’t stay ‘in silence’ all the time because of all my blogs left behind with no feedbacks, comments and discussions. May be is it because of ‘ungrammatically ‘published’ unsctructured thoughts? Who knows what will be, what it is. Besides, that wasn’t the aim to receive comments or ‘That’s great man, You know what I mean’ annoying reviews with ‘two or three’ words to my ‘reality as is’ things. We will see. The future is long.

Yesterday I realized that I like French as a fifth language. I want to learn French. Okay, good enough ‘crying on the shoulders of mother’ actions. I’ll be back! I have to re-read Hunter S. Thompson to the ‘real men’ stories. I gonzo, I for me is the best structure.