Archive | stream of ungrammatical structures RSS feed for this section

JUST FOR INSTANCE

24 Jun

Two weeks ago I had a talk with one of my well acquaintance about our progress of learning The English language. With my best respects to her there is a prehistory to land a final conlcusion. Preface in short story sounds like the next: She has contstantly been studying The English for four years at the university, and had had studied at the school as well. I had been started my journey of learning in the freshman year only. But as everyone knows that years aren’t saying about our experience on any language at all. I guess our published posts are.

I took my process very diligently after a few fails in the lections in public tests at the university and made a room to learn something new each day so far. I’m pretty sure that it is working on in the best sense of the word.

A week ago I ended up with the conclusion that all my best results aren’t well enough to be serious to say about my casual life in Russian language in which I’m talking either about what I’ve been done nor what I would had been done at that time in each evening to publish in a manner of weblog’s diary. And as I could say she’d been interrupted by me.

I’d say that her way of pronunciation isn’t perfect or even not so good to talk about and a little bit about her ‘way’ of describing her ideas and so on so forth. Might be it was hurtfull or something but let’s be honest without any ‘buts’ to say the things ‘as is’. She said a few words about my ‘ungrammatical’ structures of ‘thoughts’ but she had skipped a ‘tags’ had had written like: ungrammatical flow of thoughts or smth. on nikanorovalbert.wordpress.com. I’m not trying to be better than anyone to talk like this. The one thing is I would have to say about my blogs are:

I dare to say to be not fluent by explaining what I’m doing and why. The main aim isn’t this. That’s all. I have no idea about my grammatical and other stuff because of the main idea is to save my local ‘to and fro’ thoughts. This is it.

In his 1959 classic, The Sociological Imagination, the great sociologist C. Wright Mills told students of the discpline:

“As a social scientist, you have to … capture what you experience and sort it out; only in this way can you hope to use it to guide and test your reflection, and in the process shape yourself as an intellectual craftsman. But how can you do this? One answer is: you must set up a blog…
In such a blog … there is joined personal experience and professional activities, studies under way and studies planned. In this blog, you … will try to get together what you are doing intellectually and what you are experiencing as a person. here you will not be afraid to use your experience and relate it directly to various work in progress. By serving as a check on repetitious work, your blog also enables you to conserve your energy. It also encourages you to capture ‘fringe-thoughts’: various ideas which may be byproducts of everyday life, snatches of conversation overheard in the street, or, for that matter, dreams. Once noted, these may lead to more systematic thinking, as well as lend intellectual relevance to more directed experience.
…The blog also helps you build up the habit of writing. … In developing the blog, you can experiment as a writer and this, as they say, develop your powers of expression.”

Actually, he called it a ‘file’ instead of blog, but the point remains the same: becoming a professional journalist requires practice and writing is a powerful aid to reflection.

So that’s what this blog is. I write here about thoughts I have, things I’m working on, stuff I’ve read, experiences I’ve had, and so on. Whenever a thought crystalize or not in my head, I type it up and post it here. I don’t read over it, I don’t show it to anyone, and I dont’t edit it – I just post it. I’m like Google in the fisrt years. All posts are beta or even alpha ‘analogs’ of Google’s programs has been uploaded on the internet for free to everyone with the word ‘beta’.

I don’t consider this writing, I consider this thinking. I like sharing my thoughts and I like hearing yours and I like practicing expressing ideas, but fundamentally this blog is not for you, it’s for me. I hope that you enjoy it anyway.

—-
A draft as a usual. Thanks to Annie for that thinking. I will update this post as soon as possible to re-write  either here or there.

Advertisements

NSA – PRISM – Snowden = RL

13 Jun

What sort of important information are deserved has to brought light to be in the public websites? And there are many various political views that will see things differently and that going to happen on the internet. Was he almost made right decision to the intelligence capabilities of National Securite Agency? And how all this could be done? This news are very interesting topic to discuss in Yakutsk.

A whole lot of people talking about NSA‘s leaks in the last days that one guy had revealed ‘meticulously’ studied documents. His name is Edward Snowden, and he had had  spend thousand of hours in various places of our world to finish the project that I will name like: “So? No suprises here”. In particular, I think the abbreviature NSA can be unscript by each pre-school kid in America, in USA in general. By the way I do not know now, but it really looks like that things going to spread the word describing even ex-girl of ‘hero,’ or ‘non hero’ act of Snowden. However, Is he traitor? The Washington Post, The Guardian are popular news gathering organizations, so they have all chances to manipulate and to influence to the minds of persons like me what they want to know about me what I have to think about the case after reading a bunch of articles on their news websites. Okay.

On the other hand, I haven’t take yet my look at these  documents, but any gossips about Privacy Policу wasn’t surprice for me at all, that Google, Facebook, Skype, Yahoo and others are collecting all posted information by the users and work with goverment structures to save bounds from, for instance, terrorists. No questions here, no! It’s frustratin’ and waste of time to see reactions of users that yelling about ‘private life’ on the internet. What the hell? The internet isn’t our rooms, or secret diaries that we keeping, that’s the internet, the first public place to be understood. And where there isn’t any boundaries comparing with real life. I don’t understand that sort of ‘asnwers’ to the last news about leaked .doc files. The people who sayin’ that facebook are working with FBI. And there are two choices. Don’t  use them at all if you want to safe your private life. Who cares? The colossal scale of information are hosted on the servers of such companies like Google, and these guys can manipulate with them strictly, you know what? We have to applaude them not treat!

For instance, my first name is Google, last is Facebook. My name is Google Facebook, nice to meet you. I’d like to introduce, no, stop, before to begin there’s a ‘laptop’, please use it. You would ask: Why? But you would add: But firstly let me give to use it in short period of time, and I would say my conclusion. I’m relying like: Okay! So time goes by, and you ended up with nice: ” – Oh, it’s great product, easy to use, well documented, simple and so on so forth”. But It can’t surprise me, but it suprised you. Why? Because I’d been working on this project in long period of time, all day and many nights. I know every corners and details how it works. So if you’re using my product I just have to know ‘what’re you doing on there. What exactly?

No big deal, just shut your mouth up and logged off from the internet. Is it sounds harshly, broadly, rudely? By the way, who cares at all events? If you’re caring your private life you will just logged off. In some instances, let’s take a look at dropbox, twitter, iCloud, many many of them. We are changing the way of keeping our files at hand. We are using virtial hard disk drivers instead of our ‘material’. In our local computer we are hosting/saving just videos, photos and musics and may be a few documents. Let’s clarify: our life is going on in various file sharing services,  like: Google Docs, and even yandex-money for local transactions. Though, it will hardly suprice anybody. What would you say about bitcoin?

Needless to say when we are going to send documents to each other one answer to do that is ‘links’. We aren’t just clicking on them, we’re sending it to our friends, workers etc. etc. We are lazy to save it flashdrive, take a walk, and give the result of something to hand if there’s an option just to press on ‘Enter’ at a blow. Why not? So if anybody has a secret not to be tracked that can be leaked, would have rather kept secrets not in bits and bytes, keep them with the help of your’s neurons. Obviously to say our brain is the most fascinating computer in this universe that can be used without any cabel world wide web connections. // Albert Nikanorov. wallmarkets@gmail.com. I like my Google Mail badly.

It seems to me that…

9 May

if I have desire truly to write down my feelings I think that I’m getting to loose my weight to say something new and interesting for other ears. It’s painful exquisitely annoying ‘phase’ of ‘How to stop fear to say the thing at it is, without any fictional addings and stolen sentences or even ‘lie storytelling’. So I started to analize the sequences of raised thougts before to write on my blog ‘my inner world, and about my person how it is, what kind of pitcure you’ll see about me when I’m naked, figuratively to saying, of course :P.

I don’t know but before to start I’m thinking that post have to be ‘long’ in order to prove that my English is fluent. Sorry, but this is bullshit. The second it that I have to ‘not to use’ ordinary words at all, and this is the second bullshit. I’m ordinary person and according to my days I cannot describe the ordinary situations with the help of ‘high literature’. I’m not professional writer, at all events. May be this isn’t the reason to say such things like this, but I’m saying how it is in life. And the third it that I have to publish two posts per day, and it really doesn’t matter the quality of my thoughts all stuff that will be said on each post. In early days this model worked very well, and time goes by and my ‘be ready to write in anytime’ was gone too. So the fast that I skipped a few days till now are started to press me psychologically that I failed with my plan. It’s hard and ‘waste of time’ pressure yourself by yourself. Waste of time and waste of personality by that kind of feelings.

So I wrote two ordinary passages, and good thing is that you see my current level, and again, it doesn’t matter for now to be fluent for me, I’m just saying that I have to say. I’m reading all the time in the English language, but my level is staying at the current level so far and I cannot do nothing about that. I would just encoureged to myself to continue my reading not in the internet but real paper books. It’s good strategy and it works.

I can’t believed it

3 May

I had skipped three days in a row to mark ‘my table’ so far in which I didn’t recognized any intentions to be understood by me to have well ‘have done’. Grammatic rules and near of it was my first enemy to start to write a post, and all the time I had thoughts that I have poor vocabulary to write anything in the English language, and one of the folks sent me a link about ‘Stop Learning Korean language‘ as well, I read the post, there was a blog and I thought: ‘ – Suck of it’, I’ll continue my learning process at all events, but I guess this is my current ‘low weeks’ I mean the time where I can’t be productive, it’s like I’m charging my battery and of course this fact either very infcluenced on my behavior nor in style for doing something useful: big deal – zero results. Talker, not maker.

Fail early, fail often

And I have to confess: before I had ‘copy and paste‘ some sentences, I mean structure of sentences to describe my feelings, and if you guys we’ll notice something more smart than I could be, you’ll find these sentences at here: Crookedtimber. I forgot almost all in order to write such an excellent posts, how to say it, I’m loosing my sense of English language, there was a time when I was in, in stream of English language’s unconsciousness (is that correctly typed?) Everything changed when my aunt asked me: ” – Is this yours? Are writing all this stuff? Excellent!” And I said, yes, it’s all me and to be honest that is not so big deal, it’s just happening, but 70% of words and phrases wasn’t and isn’t mine at all, and after this conversaion my liar head started to killing my responsibilty and I was feeling bad reaction by me that I’m lying to draw just image, suck! this image I was saying all the time before, and made some confessions on my Russian blog, so this game is start, the battly between real-Albert and just image of Albert, who will win? We’ll see, the future is long!

 

So I figured I’d try to remedy that.

28 Apr

Time is with lots of suprices, priceless, to say needlessly is countless (I hope so), and again no suprices here. But I’m feeling that my current place isn’t suitable to stable healthy I mean in soul. In the ‘current place’ I used this words in the sense of ‘among other’ people. Even in my country isn’t good to have long-hairs and others interests excepting football and walking around streets. In my village I’m sitting all the time at home with computer or book and it seems like that I’m totally alien unknown person that came like a guest in the place where he was born actually, where had been learning in the elementary school, and where I had had attend other before-school places, that’s true. I couldn’t do anything against it to suffer from it, I can’t and I know I won’t, so what to do? I think about it. So far I cannot find a good solution to this question, or I have my own actions to  cut my hairs, to start playing football and be like other gyus, but this is solution for loosers, therefore precisely this solution not for me at all.

So I figured I’d try to remedy that. Before that I didn’t even know the defitions of this word: ‘remedy’. For now I know, and it’s good. Surely there have been times when you’ve been sad. Perhaps a loved one has abandoned you or a plan has gone horribly awry. Your face falls. Perhaps you cry. You feel worthless. You wonder whether it’s worth going on. Everything you think about seems bleak — the things you’ve done, the things you hope to do, the people around you. You want to lie in bed and keep the lights off. Depressed mood is like that, only it doesn’t come for any reason and it doesn’t go for any either. Go outside and get some fresh air or cuddle with a loved one and you don’t feel any better, only more upset at being unable to feel the joy that everyone else seems to feel.

You feel as if streaks of pain are running through your head, you thrash your body, you search for some escape but find none. In order to find ‘quit’ you’re starting making new meetings, talkings, walking, but it really doesn’t help because the problem, the existence of problem there is within you, and only you ‘can change it’ to positive side, I could’t find answer to this question, where? Because answers can’t make sense, answers just the answers, the more better to find ‘hope’, hope to continue what do you love do and so on.

 

 

It’s bad idea in order to make any sense

28 Apr

Bad idea, so bad idea, so bad.

WARNING! ATTENTION! IN THE NEXT PASSAGES YOU’LL FIND LOTS OF COLOURFUL GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES AND LOTS OF ‘haha, look at this’ TYPOS, SO BE CARE.

It is possible to be pragmatic about language (ie, its just a means to express ideas; so I’ll just focus on the ideas and not spend my finite energy on the vague intracicies of the language) and still be an intellectual? Let’s compare, it’s a bad analogue to compare myself with anybody/somebody, all people are experts in own fields, but with in the sense I’m using the ‘compare’ I mean try to figure out the situation, where are excuses but my own experience telling me ‘stop’ doing ‘needless to be done talkings and walkings, and I have no idea what to do with that, turn off again social interactions? In this case I like don’t think so 🙂 So how is it goin’ for you?

I know one guy, he’s living in the countryside, he’s very popular among other folks and girls, he has a car, and comparing with me, of course, he’s more succeed because we was born in the same year, but he don’t know any words in any foreign languages, I didn’t see him with books, I mean reading something or talking about literature, he don’t know almost everything about the internet at whole, he haven’t writing stuff in any blogging platforms, just one account on social networking, and one thing he has a shop (goods) and he kind of ‘in cash’ all the time. And I guess he has hundreds of friends (like him), friends on the social networking site. He don’t know anything about music like me, about editors of main news-gathering organizations, and so on and so forth, but in the other hand he more popular than me, and no questions here. So I was thinking, you know, I’m kind of ‘blogger’, ‘language learners’, ‘videoblogger’, ‘writer at some point’, ‘nerd-booking man’, ‘at some point programmer’, ‘at some point enterpreuner’, and I haven’t popular among girls, I haven’t lots of friends on social networking, no saying here in life compare again with hem, and of course I haven’t yet a car, haha? So what’s the difference I started to think about it deeply, what the hell is going on in this case?

And I came to conclusion that may be I’m not so popular or succeed at the current time, but I have time and I’m working on my future, so the future will come back, and I’m training to myself to be an expert in the fields where competition is so high than just selling the good in the village, and may be it doesn’t matter to drive to and fro with the (may be drivin sort of cool Japan car in the current time) in order just to give for money a food for others, I have chance to impact in our world, and I said to myself, may be that’s tricky and very risky to be in my position than in the position of my acquiantance, but he stopped his self-learning but me continuing, and that is the best thing because I don’t want to be popular among a bunch of girls, have a sex with each of them and talking about it with other folks, and driving a car without any ‘in the level of world’ sense, I just want to meet one girl, what about car? It’s ridicilous to saying that ‘car is more important than to be an world class expert, the cool is to have own airplane, and I said to myself shame on you, that you started even thinking about that stuff, skip it, be smart.

Drinking more and more coffee to trying keep yourself in good mood, and whatever, your heart beating you, you’re seeing around yourself lots of books that they sort of gibbering on you ‘you are wasted your time to reading us, because more important is to write good one.

음악피아노 – ㅡmusicpiano

28 Apr

I’m sitting in front of ‘spring came here’ window, in front of my laptop, in front of other buildings, in front of myself, in front of my bizarre feelings. For those 7 days I was training my learning languages diligently and carefully, day by day, and where are the substansial results? My body burning me out, I’m stinking out. Might be I’m exaggerating here that I have lots of soul and body illnesses, not likely, more scare thing is that I’m loosing my concentrating on important aspects of my life. What did happened today? 따라하세요? Wie ergeht es dir? Is that all? So sick! My morning’s two simplest examples do asking someone about his/her life just to draw an image that I’m interested in. So why? So what? What for?

For instance, yesterday I skipped my meditation 30-minutes session, and deep-learning of MySql, and lots of time I was reading Chinese books had written in English language, lots of words in Korean, and lots of examples with translating in the Deutsch, and where the results? (And I know clearly all that aren’t enough at all, at all). Do you mean instant, fastests, quickest ‘have done’ properly and with obviosly knowledge to use them in practice, in life? So sick! That’s sick! I was playing guitar, and even had record a video and uploaded to my youtube channel, I would say that is ‘good start, keep it up, never settle down, and what?’ That’s all. The results are making me boring, because I don’t like ‘my have done’, at some point I hate those silly, stupid, moron results, and I would add, ‘add more hours, more training minutes, more productivity, more passion, more simplisity, and let it down for a moment, and again over again, on and on, that? Indeed?

What difference does it make what I learn four languages simultaneously? It’s big challenge, and I know, to start to learn anything is the simplest action we’ve ever always been know, the point is to finish, it’s marathon, and the point is to be fluent in every aspect, puncuation therefore writing, sounds patterns therefore talking, meanings of the words therefore reading, and you know what? When you’re stinking out to learning by heart such a casual words like, ‘delicious’, ‘house’, ‘time’, to have, to go and so on and so forth, it really hurts, because other 60 million and even billion of people know that better than you, it’s clear and again the point is to make such a hard learning hours are to say something for all of them by ‘fluent’ language. That’s my point of view. I’m getting to loose as I think my ability to write in English language, I’m thinking that if I start to learn other language, in the first time all my concentrating will be in basic aspects and that’s why I have chance to stop increase my education on the English, because almost  all the time my attention will paid to ‘just for converstation aspects’ of learning language, for instance, Korean: 법학  – law; 음악 – music, and does make any sense to add more words to my current English? No! Even don’t think about it at all. I’m loosing or had stopped my English language. So how about Chinese? Der Apfel – > I need a hours of hours to remember the word Der Apfel in Chinese language.

There are lots of aspects for ‘arrays’ in PHP,  a bunch of them, and you need to remember all of them to manipulate in future projects and be real professional. You can just install ‘framework’, or ‘CMS’ but you won’t know all deep courners and it means just be ‘user’, not ‘maker’. In order to be ‘maker’ you have to invest all of your time, without any holidays, any days for resting, you ‘have to’ in work all the time, because of ‘life’ is your best work, and you’re doing your best work you’ve ever did and will. That’s make sense, and you’re thinking all the time about what to do in the next day, and 18 hours is good enough to stay in tune in be productive. I started to read books that I’ve ever hadn’t been reading at all, I’m becoming really organized, and productive, all these hard sessions is getting to be my own established schools and universities for me for now, and I feel happines in front of sickness. It’s sick trying don’t break the chain, items that marked on the table had hanged in the wall. But my current English is so bad.

And Aaron is really helping me stay in this level of learning process, and he said the next brilliant words in the perspective:

“do think of seem to have something else in common. They don’t just love thinking, they love language. They love its tricks and intricacies, its games, the way it gets written down, the books it gets written into, the libraries those books are in, and the typography those books use.” Here.

His work and life are my inspiration to keep all these stuff on, and may be once upon a time to look myself in front of mirror, and I’ll say to myself: ‘Good, danke der Mann for 괜찮다~!’